


Irrational Rations

by Agapostemon



Series: Bite the Sky [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Puns, Cooking, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hunk (Voltron) is an Engineering Genius, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Matt Holt has PTSD, Nightmares, POV Matt Holt, Pi Day, Who uses his powers for edible math puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agapostemon/pseuds/Agapostemon
Summary: “How did you manage to get training cancelled for Pi Day, of all things?” asks Matt, genuinely impressed.“Easy,” says Hunk, setting down his tablet and setting to work picking up the fruit he dropped earlier, “I asked Coran instead of Allura.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and kind of rushed, but I couldn't resist writing some platonic fluff in honor of a Very Important Earth Holiday. Also: Wow look, I wrote something set in canon-verse!

Matt weaves his way through the halls of the castle, listening to his uneven footsteps echo as he walks. His leg is bothering him, again, but he suspects it’s more psychosomatic than anything. Flashbacks and nightmares have a way of doing that. He lets out something between a sigh and a grumble.

He’s far too keyed up to return to his own room, but he can’t quite bring himself to disturb Shiro’s sleep at this hour. After all, Shiro’s—the black paladin’s—sleep is far more mission critical than Matt’s could ever be. No matter how much Matt would like to hear his friend’s heartbeat and know he’s alive. So instead he just wanders.

Eventually, he hears what sounds like… whistling? Not exactly what he expected to hear so late at night, but it’s far from an unwelcome sound, so he follows it. It leads him directly to the kitchen, where he finds Hunk. The yellow paladin nearly jumps out of his skin, flinging alien fruit all over the room and ducking behind a counter when he hears Matt enter the room.

“Who the—Matt?” Hunk groans, peering up over the counter, “Holy quiznak, you scared the tar outta me!”

“Sorry,” Matt says, hopping up onto a barstool on the opposite side of the counter, “What’re you doing up so late, anyways?”

An impish smile spreads across the yellow paladin’s face, “Makin’ pies.”

Matt doesn’t know Hunk very well, yet, but his love of cooking is hardly a secret. Still, this seems like an odd hour for such an elaborate baking project. “Why?” Matt asks, “I mean, why now? Don’t you have training tomorrow?”

Hunk’s grin just grows, “Nope.”

“You don’t?” Matt raises an eyebrow.

“Not tomorrow. It’s an important Earth holiday,” Hunk says with a wink.

“Aaand what holiday would that be?” asks Matt.

“Check the calendar,” Hunk beams, holding out a tablet with a digital Earth calendar pulled up.

Matt’s jaw falls open, “Holy heck. It’s _Pi Day_!”

“Only the best holiday of the year,” Hunk says smugly, “Edible math puns are my specialty.”

“How did you manage to get training cancelled for Pi Day, of all things?” asks Matt, genuinely impressed.

“Easy,” says Hunk, setting down his tablet and setting to work picking up the fruit he dropped earlier, “I asked Coran instead of Allura.”

Which was pretty clever, Matt has to admit. Of course Coran would be delighted to participate in in Authentic Earth Tradition, especially one that involves food and math. Matt and Coran are alike in that sense.

“Does anybody else know?” asks Matt, wondering if he’s been let in on a secret or if he’s just the last to know.

“Nope. Just you, me, Coran and Allura,” says Hunk, picking up the last of the fruit and setting it on the counter, “I mean, Pidge might’ve figured it out. But if she has, she hasn’t said anything. She coded the calendar with me, but I don’t think she checks it as much as I do.”

“So… are you just gonna surprise everybody with pie for breakfast?” Matt inquires, honestly pretty delighted about that prospect. The idea of celebrating pi day with his dad and sister again makes the castle feel a little more like home.

“Sure am!” the yellow paladin beams, “You wanna help?”

Matt’s eyes light up, “Uh, heck yes?!”

“Cool,” Hunk says, “Go wash your hands and then peel those for me.” He gestures at the fruit between them. It resembles swirly purple and white pears.

Matt does as told. As he peels (or more accurately, mangles) the purple alien pears, Hunk pulls out what appear to be four… pie tins? At least, Matt assumes that’s what they are. They’re square, though, and one of them is closer in size to muffin size than pie size.

Matt squints, “Are those… square pie tins?”

Hunk just beams, “Yeah, ‘cuz pi r squared. Get it?”

“Hunk, you are a Pi Day _genius_! Why haven’t I ever thought of that?” Matt exclaims, “Wait. Wait, is the small one… did you really? Is that what I think it is?”

“If you’re thinking it’s a pie tin that's in ratio to the others by a factor of 3.14159,” says Hunk, puffing out his chest with pride, “Then yes.”

“Oh my god, you actually got it out five decimal places?” Matt asks in awe, “ _How_?”

“Hours of diligent labor,” Hunk nods in faux-seriousness, “And… shouting at machines. Even with fancy Altean equipment, this is as precise as I could get it.”

“Niiice,” Matt nods his approval, then returns to butchering fruit.

Hunk winces as he watches, eventually reaching out and loosely grabbing Matt’s hand, “Oookay, I’m gonna teach you how to peel fruit, because this is painful to watch.”

Matt grins sheepishly and allows Hunk to guide his hand. Eventually, Hunk deems his work acceptable and lets him finish on his own while the yellow paladin goes to gather ingredients for pie crust.

\-------------

After two knife mishaps, a flour fight and a whole lot of baking, Matt and Hunk retreat to the lounge adjacent to the kitchen.

“Might as well catch some Zs while our pies cool,” yawns Hunk, his face still smudged with flour, “Gotta refresh ourselves for the festivities, right?”

“Yeah, gotta… get that sleep,” Matt laughs unenthusiastically, picking at the bandage on one of his fingers.

“You okay, buddy?” asks Hunk, concern filling his eyes.

“Me? Yeah, I’m peachy,” responds Matt.

Hunk squints at him for a bit, like he’s trying to read his mind. Matt fidgets and flashes him a lopsided grin, trying to quell his worries.

“Hey, you never told me why you were up so late,” Hunk says, his voice suspicious.

“You never asked,” Matt shrugs.

“Sorry,” Hunk frowns, “I was so excited about pies that it just… skipped my mind, I guess.”

“S’fine,” Matt says, “Not like I have an exciting reason for wandering the halls at whatever-o’clock. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Nightmares?” Hunk asks, his voice sympathetic.

Matt blinks at him. Maybe this kid really can read minds.

“Um,” Hunk continues, “I’m guessing you’d probably rather be with Shiro right now, but if you wanna… you can come cuddle up next to me while the pies cool. I won’t let those mean nightmares keep you up!”

Matt feels a little awkward being comforted by someone so much younger than himself, but… hey, Hunk is a good kid and Matt really needs the sleep. So he complies, plopping down next to the yellow paladin and using his flour-dusted shoulder as a pillow.

“Happy pie day,” Hunk mumbles, already on the edge of sleep.

Matt smiles and mumbles back, “Dad and Ka—Pidge’re gonna be so excited.”

“And Coran,” Hunk giggles, “Don’t forget Coran.”

Matt snorts, “I can’t believe you convinced the Alteans that Pi Day is a major Earth holiday.”

“That’s because it _is_ a major Earth holiday!” Hunk declares sleepily.

“It is now,” Matt agrees, starting to drift off as well.

He doesn’t have any more nightmares that night, but he does have a particularly odd dream involving giant, singing alien pears… he’s gonna have to share that one with the group in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna come say hi, I'm [Agapostemon](https://agapostemon.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!
> 
> Also: Please remember that I write purely for fun and catharsis. My fics are unbeta’d and minimally proofread. They’re not perfect, and that’s okay. If you notice something I could fix or improve, please keep those thoughts to yourself. If I genuinely want critique, I’ll ask a close friend in private. **Surprise critiques are very stressful and discouraging.** Thanks for understanding!
> 
> UPDATE// Fixed the pie tin math, because someone who actually knows how to do more than basic algebra came to my rescue.


End file.
